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Martin Tairo M.'s Friends
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Growing in up country
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Things have changed in modern society for sure, some times it strike me whether the globalization is ‘where we are supposed to be rather that where we were’ or that maybe I get confused because I haven’t changed much as the changes dictate. I grew up in upcountry of central Kenya. Until I moved to work and study in urban, vast green fields, natural reserves and communal life where anybody dared to mind others business was what I knew. Though the family and neighbors were not a ‘haven from selfish mankind’ the love and care of others was radiant, when a bride got married we had a share of the dowry and when one departure from us we shared the tears too. The legends of brave humane and patriotic ran from one generation to the others, passed to us through the music, dances, storytelling and riddles. I remember for instance the legends of Mugo Wa Kibiro, he prophesied of long smoking iron snake sleeking through our motherlands which later came true in the name of railways. As a boy I could never get enough about the legends of men who left their wives or young warriors who sworn patriotism and fought for our independence. I wished to be one of them and spent awesome time daydreaming about that. All this legend rings though my head everyday fresh as I listened to my grandmother who I lived with.
Living in upcountry I was never depilated of luxury which came in terms of freedom of exploration and experiences. Though there were no malls, cinemas or kid’s playgrounds filled with toys and bouncing castles, we run bare footed across and deep into the jungle. We were wild and free. Hunting for hares and gazelles with our miniature bows and arrows and dogs. I remember one dog ‘Chita’ coined from cheetah, he was strong and brave, I even thought I saw bravery in his eyes. We swam in the rocky rivers, gathered wild fruits and cooked sweet potatoes in the fields. One time I took a young buck home but after two days, it was so sick and looked out of place. I could tell from it watered eyes and meek bleat. It was out of place just like I feel here in the polluted and crowded urban.
My family was typically humble just like others so we lived in an imminent tension of bad harvest, school fees, hospital bill and that stuff people take for granted. But my parents always found money for my school fees, class trips and Christmas clothes- not having a Christmas new shoe or pants was so demoralizing just like Christmas without night vigil mass in the village.
Life was cool; we didn’t live in total depravity or crime prone neighborhoods. Respect, wisdom and generosity was what made name for a person though today manicures, pedicures, bar fights and flashy wallets determines a man success. And sometimes I feel like pity for them or probably more pity for our country. Working in fields’ enhanced hardworking and prepared us to face the adulthood responsibilities, failure to finish ones chores meant a half ration or no supper. “A lazy man can’t stand eating as it is work too’. After day work we all gathered around the fire place inside a smoky hut, cousins, friends and neighbors and then my grand ma sitting at her place like a goddess telling us stories, folks and riddles. Her marvelous smooth and wise voice taking us to that world of reality show, the cracking firewood, glinting crickets, choirs of frogs in nearby stream sounded from dark silent night, resonating and rhyming with her voice like a musical background.
At high school that is when I started to drift from home. With students from different backgrounds it was a ground of diversity and problems too. Though I’m okay with all people and respect the same, I sometimes gave a timid bow to peer pressure but would snap back to myself. See! I couldn’t forget where I came from because I wanted to keep my Identity and values. I couldn’t stand letting down my folks neither could the family accept a heir who couldn’t make own legends. I see it now; they wanted us to have better lives than they had.
Growing up there gave me a different perspective of life. It was full of teachings and acknowledgement of realities that I could probably never had learnt. The urban new environment presents me with better options, chances as well as more challenges and obstacles. I have to live on ‘my self’s’ like most of others alone fight or flight from problems while still keeping my head high enough to see beyond the horizons. I’m not ashamed or full of regret about my past. Instead the past give me strength to move a step forward. Well! Living in a small house, not driving a fancy car or wearing trendy fashions like my age mates used to give me ulcers. But when I look back and then beyond the horizons, I see so much work to do, think about the disorganized society, culturally uprooted as my grand ma says ‘ trees lives by their own roots’, and then I realize that it will take courage and suffering to make my own legends. Though I feel comfortable in the urban, I still feel like should do something more to fit and make it right, like I must go an extra mile to prove I can belong here as well as be myself. Though I must change some of my past, I have pride to say that past has much to do with who I am today.
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| September 7, 2008 | 11:47 AM |
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SELF ESTEEM -- Is Your Silence Costing You Your Life?
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Is Your Silence Costing You Your Life? By Cookie Tuminello
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”- Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King was right on when he said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” It is the beginning of the end.
A major source of stress is caused by unspoken feelings, not getting what we want, and not asking for what we want. This stress can cause headaches, insomnia, emotional eating, avoidance, depression, and laryngitis just to name a few. I, myself, have experienced all of the tell tale signs at one time or another in my life.
So, back to the question, is your silence causing you stress? A good question to ask yourself is your life working or not working for you? A good place to start looking for answers is to take a good long look at your relationship with yourself and others.
• How many times do you say YES when you want to say NO? For fear that they may not like you. You valued the other person more than you valued yourself.
• How many times have you kept quiet because you were afraid to speak up? For fear of what might happen or not sure of yourself. So, you just sucked it up and paid for it on the inside.
• How many times have you spoke your feelings, but did not ask for what you wanted? For fear that you didn’t know how to ask or felt you weren’t worthy enough. So, you came away unfulfilled and sometimes even resentful for not having spoken up and stated what you really wanted.
• How many times have you let others dictate the course of your life because you didn’t think you knew enough? So, you lived the life they wanted, not yours, simply because you wanted to please them.
• How many times have you settled for less when you could have had more? What do you think doing this did to your sense of self worth?
Think about it. When you become silent, don’t express your feelings, and don’t speak up, you give away your power and your soul. Now, if this only happened one time it may not be a problem. You learn from the experience and you take care of better care of yourself next time. However, keeping silent time after time causes a slow demise of the quality of your life, not to mention your integrity, dignity, joy, passion, and prosperity in your life. How long are you going to keep saying ‘Ow!’ before you stop!’
So how do you reclaim your power?
The first step is to be accountable. You are where you are because of the choices you have made in your life. Now don’t go south on me and start beating yourself up more. It’s not bad or wrong, it’s just where you were at the time. Now is the time to make better choices for yourself – stand up for yourself.
The second step is to take a look at the areas of your life where you’ve sabotaged yourself. Determine what it is that you want and start putting in corrections. In other words, start taking different actions than the ones you took before. And every time you take a new empowered action, you begin to reclaim your power little by little.
Being silent does have its place in everyone’s life, but staying silent when you really need to be standing up and showing up for yourself serves nobody well, least of all you.
If you’re really having problems stating what you want, just remember the old saying, ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.’ In short, open your mouth and clearly state what you want - one word at a time.
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| September 5, 2008 | 6:43 AM |
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Maceo Parker - Pigalle Club, 20/8/08
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The Pigalle is not short of trendy downtown charm. It’s a little bit glitzy and supper-clubbish: definitely not the usual setting for “2% jazz, 98% funk” kind of music. Luckily, there is no better man to bring a venue to life than Maceo Parker, playing here with his nine-piece band featuring UK trombone star Dennis Rollins. Early on, the saxophonist stirred people up by patrolling dinner tables, many of which then gave way to open up a heaving dancefloor. Song lengths went well into double figures without exception, moving up and down the dynamic spectrum with frightening rigidity. At times it felt a little like too much filler and not enough funk – Maceo would go through long periods without lifting horn to mouth – but since the set lasted almost three hours, we probably shouldn’t complain. And when he did play, he really played – with a towering stage presence, signature piercing tone and perfectly controlled melodic phrasing. It’s no exaggeration to state Maceo as the seminal influence on a generation of funk saxophonists. Despite the drawbacks of the club, this was a rare chance to see Maceo on stage in such an intimate venue. Even at the age of 65, the former James Brown sideman shows no sign of slowing down. The king is dead, long live the king. < Published in London Tourdates, 5/9/08.
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| September 5, 2008 | 6:09 AM |
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US Vice Presidential Pick- A disastrous choice for sexual and reproductive health and rights
About this category: Human Rights & Equity
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Senator John McCain, the US Republican choice for presidential nominee, has made an ill-advised, highly political choice of vice presidential candidates in Sarah Palin. She is an incredibly under-accomplished, far-right wing, inexperienced woman whose only significant political experience is being the governor of Alaskaa and an Alaskan city of 9,000 people, Wasilla.
One might think that this woman, who only holds an undergraduate degree from Idaho State and whose policies reflect her utter lack of education and grip on reality, foreign policy, economics, defense, environment, etc, might be unelectable. Unfortunately, as the election of George W Bush before her proves, Americans are apt to vote based purely on personality, looks and lifestyle, not on qualifications, education, policy or experience.
Beyond Palin's corrupt political career, abandonment of her own home state in pursuit of national political aims (her lobbying for a $200 million bridge to connect an empty town in Alaska to a local airport, and then voting against her own bridge after it became clear the country was in uproar, as other bridges in other states collapsed and multiple fatalities resulted), her undistinguished careeer as an almost-beauty queen, her support for oil-drilling on the Alaskan coast to support her personal and family oil company financial interests, and anti-environment policies, etc, Sarah Palin is a rabid right winger against women's human rights.
Ironically, her stance against sex education in schools, and her support of abstinence-only until marriage education, has resulted in her own daughter, Bristol, becoming an unmarried pregnant teenager at 17 years old. Her boyfriend Levi vows on his since-erased MySpace page that he "doesn't want kids." Yet this week, Palin has forced her daughter into becoming engaged to her underaged boyfriend still in high school, in order to uphold her political appearance and candidacy for vice president.
Terrifyingly, McCain is the oldest potential incumbent in the United States, at 70 years old. Were McCain to pop off during the presidency, this woman would become President of the United States. Even more ironically, this woman who is the staunchest opponent to women's rights wishes to reverse the slow and painstaking progress made to gender inequality over the past 100 years. She would reverse Roe v. Wade and she opposes abortion even in the case of rape or incest.
Here's some information about how "Sarah Barracuda", a self-termed "hockey mom" and mother of five, feels about people's ability to make their own choices about their sexual and reproductive health:
Source:
[Think Progress]
Palin Is A Member Of Anti-Abortion Group Feminists For Life. Palin is a member of an “anti-abortion group called Feminists for Life.” When running for governor in 2002, she “sent an e-mail to the anti-abortion Alaska Right to Life Board saying she was as ‘pro-life as any candidate can be’ and has ‘adamantly supported our cause since I first understood, as a child, the atrocity of abortion.’”
[Anchorage Daily News, 8/6/08]
Palin Opposes Abortion Even In Cases Of Rape Or Incest. In 2006, Palin said that even if her daughter were raped, “I would choose life.” She said that she would support abortion only if the mother’s life were in danger.
[Anchorage Daily News, 11/3/06]
Palin Slashed Funding To Help Teenage Mothers. Earlier this year, Palin used a line-item veto “to slash funding for a state program benefiting teen mothers in need of a place to live.” Funding for Covenant House Alaska, which provides transitional housing for teen mothers, was cut by 20 percent — from $5 million to $3.9 million.
[Washington Post,9/3/08]
Palin Supports Abstinence-Only Policies. In 2006, the Eagle Forum Alaska asked Palin whether she would “support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education.” Palin replied, “Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support.”
[Politico, 9/1/08]
Palin Supports Parental Consent Laws For Minors Seeking Abortions. According to the Anchorage Daily News, Palin was “disappointed lawmakers let a bill die requiring girls under 17 to get parental consent for an abortion. ‘My belief is parents have the right to know about the health and welfare of their children,’ she said.”
[Anchorage Daily News, 8/14/08]
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| September 4, 2008 | 3:56 PM |
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*** Daily Motivational Quotes ***
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Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
- George Jackson
You have to recognize when the right place and the right time fuse and take advantage of that opportunity. There are plenty of opportunities out there. You can't sit back and wait.
- Ellen Metcalf
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| September 1, 2008 | 12:56 PM |
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WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GOES?
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It is heartbreaking to write on a phenomenon that I find both bizarre and altogether mysterious. But I couldn’t help wondering why and how it happens. It is easy to regard with contempt or even condemn people doing crazy things, fusing in desperation or becoming retreatists of the society, this is what we learnt to label psychotics and neurotics, like people walking half naked, puffing their lives into world of hallucinations with drugs or even committing suicide. It gives me nightmares like I saw it coming but did nothing. When it all started we the society turned against the guy like a plague and watched in indolent silence gaped like our mouths saw well than the eyes. My friend took his own life, oh yah! Committed suicide, so young to die! Could we have done something to avoid this? Or did we desert him when he reached out for us and needed us most.
Love and affection! It is necessity of life, that what we never understood he needed. Because everyone needs a meaningful contact or connection with others. It is through interpersonal relationship that we reach out for others in an attempt to meet each others social life and support through the many curves of life. The need for contact and inclusion is so evident that currently there are more than 10,000 social websites including facebook, TIG, tagged, friendster you name them. With the globalization the mobile technologies, internet and media the interpersonal relationship have gone to a new level, almost heading to an autistic society where the technologies is overtaking face to face relationships.
The inclusion has all to do with the varying degree by which we need to establish and maintain a feeling of mutual interest with other people. We want others to pay attention to us, take time to understand us and be considered normal like others people. Have you ever experienced how it feels to be invited last in a team? Or been ignored in a friends group and conversations? The feeling of rejection critically demoralize our perception of who we are or the self concept. To have a false consciousness that one is unlovable and unfitting leads to personality inferiority complex. That why people will do crazy things just to prove that they are not zombies and that they need attention too, like getting into drugs, aggression or even anti social behaviors, clothing and styles. These are just a few of attention seeking behaviors. The unsatisfying interpersonal relationship leads to loneliness and then depression.
Every human needs to establish and maintain a satisfactory influence and power in any relationship, when the control need is unmet then we feels like the other person doesn’t respect or value our abilities, that they perceive us to be incompetent. And then there is affection, this involves a need to give or receive love and experience emotional close contact. Less than that one feels unlovable and that people avoid us, however if there is a pleasant experience of affection especially during childhood attachment which influences positively the future approach of decision making, self concept and relationship, then it is easy to handle relationship and recognize that not everyone one meet will necessarily care for him/her the same way as others.
Everyone experiences emotions though it varies with it pleasantness or unpleasantness. Chronic intense emotional if not addressed leads to severe psychological disorders e.g frequent episodes of stress leads to depression and uncontrolled anger is mostly deviated to innocent victims “the last straw syndrome”. Our feelings affects relationships for good or worse, only when direct attention is paid to the same are we able to commit ourselves, have courage and skills to express the pleasant or unpleasant feelings that when a healthy relationship is achieved.
By reaching out for someone, having an effective communication, expressing empathic understand and giving support and courage, we enhance the essence of life i.e. love. So next time someone tries to reach out for you, take time to listen and extend a helping hand. You might be breaking someone’s self rejection cycle and probably that is the blueprint for helping the psycho-social products system we label and stigmatize as insane. For sure they lives among us, this people are us.
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| August 30, 2008 | 1:02 PM |
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*** Daily Motivational Quotes ***
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Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.- Jules Renard
Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.
- Abigail Adams
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| August 28, 2008 | 6:40 AM |
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How is artificial rain produced?
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Many of you heard about Artificial Rain being produces in Beijing during the Olympics...here is a basic procedure for making artificial rain... :)
The need to develop and improve rain-making techniques in terms of design, operation, monitoring and evaluation by giving them a more scientific character is today's need.
This includes using computers to study cloud formations and help the rain-making operations achieve the goals of the project. The role of weather modification, or rain-making, is an important component in water resource management.
The process involved in artificial rain-making involves three easy-to-understand stages. The first stage is agitation. That is using chemicals to stimulate the air mass upwind of the target area to rise and form rain clouds.
The chemicals used during this stage are calcium chloride calcium carbide, calcium oxide, a compound of salt and urea, or a compound of urea and ammonium nitrate. These compounds are capable of absorbing water vapour from the air mass, thus stimulating the condensation process.
The second stage is called building-up stage. Here the cloud mass is built up using chemicals such as kitchen salt, the T.1 formula, urea, ammonium nitrate, dry ice, and occasionally also calcium chloride to increase nuclei which also increase the density of the clouds. In the third stage of bombardment chemicals such as super-cool agents: silver iodide and dry ice are used to reach the most unbalanced status which builds up large beads of water (Nuclei) and makes them fall down as raindrops.
In planning every stage a high degree of expertise and experience is required, in selecting the types and amounts of chemicals to be used, while taking into consideration weather conditions, topographical conditions, wind direction and velocity as well as the location or delimitation of the area for chemical seeding. Several other ideas are also involved in rain making. Rockets containing rain-making chemicals can be fired into the clouds either from the ground or from aircraft.
A jet of rain-making chemicals is shot from a highly pressurised cannister directly into the cloud base, so as to coerce clouds which normally hang above mountain tops to cluster up and rain on the mountain or their slopes.
Rain-making chemicals are added to super-cooled clouds, i.e., those at altitudes above 18,000 metres, to stimulate the formation of ice crystals in the cloud or cloud cluster.
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| August 28, 2008 | 6:29 AM |
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Power and Roads for Africa: What the United States Can Do
About this category: Peace, Conflict & Governance
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This White House and the World Brief presents the key facts and recommendations drawn from chapters of The White House and the World: A Global Development Agenda for the Next U.S. President.
Why should the United States care about economic growth in Africa? Because it is the right thing to do and the smart thing to do. Helping to spur economic growth in Africa promotes our values, enhances our security, and helps create economic and political opportunities for the people of the continent. Public interest in Africa is higher than ever-witness consumer movements such as Product Red-and bipartisan political support recently renewed funding for the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR). Several new opportunities now exist for U.S. firms to compete and benefit from a win-win partnership with the region.
To view CDG's brief in its entirety, please visit the following link:
http://www.cgdev.org/content/publications/detail/16557/
Japan Builds 500 Classrooms for Country
Source: Allafrica.com
Lagos, Aug 25
Japanese Government over the weekend in Abuja, disclosed plans to build additional 500 classrooms in the second phase of its Grant Aid Project for the basic education level in Nigeria.
This is even as the federal government is prevailing on the Japanese government through Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA) to increase the number of benefiting states so as to ensure that the efforts to get more children off the streets become a nationwide success.
Already, executive secretary of the Universal Basic Education Commission (UBEC), Dr. Ahmed Modibbo Muhammed, who received the Japanese team who came to ensure everything goes well in the second phase of the Grant Aid Project Japan had embarked upon in Nigeria, had proposed seven states, including Adamawa, Borno, Ebonyi, Gombe Kano, Katsina and Oyo to benefit from the project expected to be completed within three years.
Regional director of Urban and Regional Development Division One of Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA), Mr. Maekawa Kenji, said the assistance from the JICA was to help Nigeria in the provision of infrastructure needed to accelerate the development of education at the basic level.
Kenji who disclosed their intention, while on courtesy visit to the Universal Basic Education Commission (UBEC), noted that he and his team are on a feasibility study mission to Nigeria to determine where to site the classrooms, depending on the area of need engineers would be hired to do the construction. To ensure quality output of the project, he explained the Japanese government would be directly involved in the supervision of work, while local
It could be recalled that the JICA had earlier provided a total of 498 classrooms at the cost of N1.8 billion across 70 schools in Niger , Kaduna and Plateau states. Mohammed expressed gratitude for the gesture, saying it boost the Federal Government move to tackle the numerous challenges in the education sector. He explained that he had already submitted a list of states for consideration, adding that the project should be scaled up to at least six instead of three states.
On the proposal by the Japanese government that local firms may be contracted to execute the project under the supervision of foreign experts, the UBEC boss promised that Nigerians will not disappoint. He pointed out that the only problem that can arise from such arrangement will be if there is no proper supervision, adding that apart from encouraging Nigerian firms, such gesture will help build their expertise in such area as building classrooms with brick-blocks.
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| August 27, 2008 | 1:35 PM |
| August 27, 2008 | 8:49 AM |
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Quotes For Today
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Be true to your work, your word, and your friend. - Henry David Thoreau, 1817-1862, American Author/Critic/Naturalist
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. - Walt Disney, 1901-1966, American Film Producer/Director/Animator
There is little success where there is little laughter. - Andrew Carnegie, 1835-1919, American Industrialist and Philanthropist
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| August 27, 2008 | 8:30 AM |
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Parenting Teenagers And Discipline In The Modern Age
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We know it is difficult being a parent in this present age, but it is also difficult to be a teenager today as well. Never before has ¡§good judgment¡¨ been so crucial to survival. As part of the boomer population, I don¡¦t remember that my bad judgments would have the range of severe consequences. Sexually transmitted disease such as HIV, potent drugs and pills and pornography are every day risks for teens. My mistakes back when I was a teenager did not often have the consequences of permanent injury or death. With sexually transmitted disease and HIV, permanent injury and death are real possibilities in this present day world for teens. Never before in our history have children had to make so many risky choices by themselves.
At the same time, I never had the internet growing up. While the internet can give me wonderful relevant information, it also allows predators into my home through the computer. How wonderful and awful at the same time is this technology! It¡¦s wonderful because we can broaden our whole world and allow ourselves to be exposed to diverse ideas and cultures that were not imaginable over 10 years ago. It¡¦s awful because of the diversity of violence, hate and sex available to teens in graphic form, i.e. hate groups, pornography, etc.
In my private Indianapolis-based counseling practice, parents often ask, ¡§What do we teach our kids that can compete with what the media and their friends tell them?¡¨ Of course there are no ¡§right answers¡¨ and I struggle with the same questions. With teens especially, I believe the media, culture and their friends have more influence in direct communication than parents do. However that does not mean that parents do not have influence; I believe parents do, and they have to change their tactics of parenting when their children are teens because the previous ways of communication no longer work effectively.
Parents are the most obvious role models of how to be a man and a woman, mom and dad, and wife and husband. The most important aspect to me is that values be communicated more by the action of a parent rather than through the spoken word. The role of the parent and the discipline of the child are demonstrated by the action rather than words. Words are secondary, and I believe questions are better than statements when confronting your teen on a subject that requires critical thinking.
Show your teen how you think. Your values, respect and interest in your child may go further than telling them how to be or how to act. Being observant of your own communication style with your spouse, the teen, and others may have more influence on them than anything you tell directly tell your teenager. Asking questions in a non-judgmental way to help them understand that the consequences of their behavior may go further than ¡§laying down the law¡¨. The act of helping your child think things through and develop critical thinking is a lifetime gift.
For example, your teen says that some of the other kids he/she admires are drinking or taking drugs. Harping on your fears, the illegality, and consequences of the actions will not teach her/him to think for her/himself. On the contrary, your words will probably fall on deaf ears or may cut off communication with your teen on this subject. However, if you ask him/her to think with questions such as:
„X What does drinking do for your friend __________?
„X What does drinking do for you, how does it help you or hurt you?
„X What are the consequences if you are caught by the police/lose control/drive?
„X What if you don¡¦t do what your friends do (drinking)? How would they react? How would you feel?
Of course, if your child is in ever-present danger, you supply the safety net and avert the danger of high risk. At the same time, let the teenager think the problem through, including all of the consequences. If you can teach a child how to think, this will serve him/her forever. Combined with being a good role model and learning how to think critically, your teen will be well equipped to make decisions both in childhood and as an adult.
The biggest problem with authoritarian parental discipline is that it does not provide space for the child to learn from natural consequences. Often authoritarian discipline prevents the child from learning through mistakes. As a result, later as a teenager he/she may rebel, making it more difficult to keep him/her safe. If, for example, Johnny drinks and drives, then natural consequences are losing his car privileges for a while until he can demonstrate that he/she will be responsible. He/she may also give you ideas for natural consequences for drinking. Natural consequences, providing the teen with a way to ¡§redeem¡¨ him/herself with trust, is a wonderful way parents can teach teens to be mature. With natural consequences, dialogue is needed to problem-solve and to determine what actions should be taken to remedy the act. A spirited dialogue with the parents and teen through open communication shows the child that, although he/she does not have final say, he/she at the very least plays an important part in the act of considering the consequences. Parents want to be sure that they allow their teens the opportunity to gain their trust back without impossible consequences.
When using natural consequences as a part of parental discipline, it is advisable to use ¡§I messages¡¨. The parent is questioning the behavior, but not questioning the character of the child. This is very important. The behavior of drinking is unwise and immature at a school function, but the child¡¦s character is not devalued. When talking to the child about inappropriate drinking, the parent may say, ¡§Son, I am disappointed in your behavior of drinking at the school dance and would like to know what you think the legal consequences would be if the school officials found out.¡¨ In addition, a parent might say, ¡§I wonder what you believe the natural consequences for drinking at school should be?¡¨. The focus of the parent should stay on the behavior of the child and not the character of the child.
In summary, I believe that we are teaching our young people how to have problem-solving skills and how to think critically, so that they will know how to make good decisions when they are adults. We are teaching them respect for rules as well as respect for others by being respectful in our contact with them. If we prescribe the arbitrary discipline or only punish, the child may not learn critical lessons of life. Open the door with your teenager and create the experience of problem solving, natural consequences, and critical thinking as gifts they can use the rest of their life.
Parenting Teenagers And Discipline In The Modern Age
By Garth Mintun, LCSW, ACSW, CSW-G
Author's Bio
Garth is a licensed clinical social worker. He received his Masters of Social Work from Kansas University in 1977. He has worked in a variety of health care, social service and mental health settings. He also founded and owned a geriatric care management service for 5 years and private psychotherapy practice in the 80¡¦s. Garth has two years of Family Therapy training, was educated in Neuro Linguistic therapy for three years, and finished a year long intensive narrative program with over 170 hours of training narrative therapy.
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| August 27, 2008 | 6:13 AM |
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Mugabe heckled by opposition during opening of parliament....
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By ANGUS SHAW, Associated Press Writer Tue Aug 26, 2:09 PM ET
HARARE, Zimbabwe - Opposition legislators jeered President Robert Mugabe on Tuesday as he opened Zimbabwe's parliament, singing and chanting and sometimes drowning out his voice.
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The rare show of defiance — broadcast live on national television — set the stage for a combative legislature, even as Mugabe and his political foes try to negotiate a power sharing arrangement after disputed elections.
Mugabe's speech could sometimes not be heard over the jeers of his opponents, who clapped and sang songs deriding him and the ZANU-PF. "ZANU is rotten. You are great liars," they sang.
"We are tired of you," they shouted.
Looking annoyed, Mugabe first raised his voice then raced through the final lines of a speech railing against the West for sanctions it has imposed on people and companies linked to him, including travel bans and asset freezes.
Mugabe has ruled Zimbabwe with increasing authoritarianism since declaring independence from its former colonizer, Britain, in 1980 and had turned parliament into a rubber-stamp body.
But, with the country in economic freefall, the opposition Movement for Democratic Change has gained a strong following in recent years and this March clinched a parliamentary majority, posing the most serious threat yet to the 84-year-old leader's decades-long rule.
Tuesday's raucous session may be a glimpse into a future of bitter debates and close votes in parliament.
Opposition legislators also presented a petition Tuesday pointing out that the opening of the parliament was "a clear breach" of the agreement that led to power-sharing talks.
It called Mugabe "the illegitimate usurper of the people's will."
The petition also condemned the arrests of opposition legislators. When parliamentarians reported Monday to be sworn in, two were arrested. A third opposition legislator who is on the team negotiating power-sharing was arrested at his home early Tuesday, the opposition reported.
Opposition spokesman Nelson Chamisa said the arrests are an attempt to subvert his party's slight majority in parliament.
Some 2,000 opposition activists remain jailed in Zimbabwe months after March 29 elections where they garnered more votes than Mugabe and his party.
Mugabe reacted violently, unleashing soldiers, police and militants accused of killing nearly 200 opposition members, breaking the limbs of thousands and forcing tens of thousands from their homes with fire attacks.
In March, Morgan Tsvangirai's Movement for Democratic Change won 100 of the 210 seats in parliament, upsetting ZANU-PF's long-held majority. Mugabe's party won 99 seats and a splinter opposition faction won 10. An independent who broke away from Mugabe's party has the remaining seat.
In parliament Monday, the opposition's Lovemore Moyo won the race for speaker by a surprising 110 votes to 98. The ballot was secret, but Moyo apparently got votes from both Mugabe's party and the splinter faction to win a post that puts him in charge of parliament's debate and schedule and gives him the power to appoint committee chairmen.
Parliament's first order of business will be to approve funds for government ministries and projects — a budget vote that normally would have been completed months ago. So government business will remain largely paralyzed until legislators meet again on Oct. 14.
If the opposition continues to win support from the splinter faction, it would have the simple majority needed to block those funds. But if there is deadlock, Mugabe could dissolve the assembly and rule by decree. It is unlikely the opposition could summon the two-thirds vote needed to impeach Mugabe.
Meanwhile, there is a standoff in the negotiations over how Tsvangirai and Mugabe would share power.
Tsvangirai beat Mugabe and two other candidates in presidential elections held alongside the legislative balloting, but did not gain the simple majority needed to avoid a runoff. Mugabe held a one-man runoff and declared himself victor despite Western condemnation.
The opposition blames Zimbabwe's crisis on Mugabe's increasingly autocratic and corrupt rule. Zimbabwe began unraveling after Mugabe ordered the often-violent seizures of white-owned commercial farms for landless blacks. Instead, most farms went to Cabinet ministers and generals who let the land lie fallow and destroyed the country's economic base.
Mugabe has repeatedly blamed his country's woes on European and U.S. sanctions, which he called illegal on Tuesday.
"Sanctions must go," he said, to cheers from his supporters. "They cannot last a day longer if we as Zimbabweans speak against them in deafening unison." The sanctions target people and companies linked to Mugabe with travel bans and asset freezes.
While they are meant to spare ordinary Zimbabweans, already suffering from chronic shortages of food, medication, electricity and water, Zimbabwean officials say the sanctions help discourage foreign investment, loans and aid.
More than a third of Zimbabweans depend of foreign food aid but Mugabe has barred charities for handing out the food, charging they were favoring opposition supporters. Opposition legislators on Tuesday called on Mugabe to honor his agreement to allow food to be distributed, signed as a prerequisite for the power-sharing talks.
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| August 27, 2008 | 3:33 AM |
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*** Daily Motivational Quotes ***
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The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.
- Frank Herbert
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
- Edgar Watson Howe
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| August 26, 2008 | 5:05 AM |
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Police investigate possible plot to kill Obama at Invesco
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Judi Villa April M. Washington Mon Aug 25, 10:08 PM ET
Authorities are investigating a possible assassination plot against presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama.
At least four people have been arrested in connection with a possible plot to kill Obama at his Thursday night acceptance speech at Invesco Field at Mile High, according to CBS4 News. The suspects are being held on either drug or weapons charges.
Aurora police arrested a longtime drug user Sunday afternoon during a routine traffic stop where the man was seen "weaving," sources said. Three possible other accomplices also were arrested, according to police.
Police found four weapons, including two rifles and two handguns, in a rented pickup.
That arrest then led authorities to a second man staying at the Cherry Creek Hotel at 600 South Colorado Blvd in Glendale. When authorities knocked on the man's door, they say he jumped out of his sixth floor window, landing on an awning and running from the scene. They say they soon found him with a broken ankle. He too was arrested.
CBS4 reported one of the suspects told authorities they were "going to shoot Obama from a high vantage point using a ... rifle … sighted at 750 yards."
Law-enforcement sources told CBS4 that one of the suspects "was directly asked if they had come to Denver to kill Obama. He responded in the affirmative."
One of the suspects has been identified as 28-year-old Tharin Gartrell.
Police found a rifle in the man's rented pickup and methamphetamine. The man allegedly made comments about Sen. Obama, but sources wouldn't say what they were.
It was enough, however, to make police believe the man might have been plotting to somehow harm Obama.
A second source told CBS4 News that they are concerned they may have come upon a possible "assasination plot."
The Secret Service, ATF and U.S. Attorney's Office are investigating.
Brian Maass of CBS4 News contributed to this report.
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| August 26, 2008 | 4:18 AM |
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